Anger is a natural and justifiable response to this infection. People need to be allowed to be angry. People also need to learn how to express anger appropriately. Directing anger at the wrong target—like Helen at the Xerox machine or like Lisa’s husband at Lisa or like Alan at himself—is at best ineffectual and at worst harmful. Anger turned on yourself is recognized as a form of depression. Those who feel hopeless or isolate themselves or eat or drink too much or continue the behavior that put them at risk for the infection are hurting themselves. Usually people realize they are treating themselves badly, and before too long, they stop of their own accord. Sometimes a friend or relative notices that the person is drinking a lot or seems unhappy and recommends getting help. If you do not seem to be stopping on your own, get help from a psychiatrist, psychologist, or social worker. These mental health professionals will help you identify and understand the anger and will help the anger find its proper target. If necessary, they can also recommend alcohol- or drug-treatment programs. Even anger turned outward can be overwhelming. Certain actions and attitudes help people deal with anger. First, separate the anger from its target. Lisa’s husband, after talking to a psychiatrist, understood he was angry at the circumstances, not at Lisa for serving him cold oatmeal. Steven, who had been furious at the doctors he saw in the clinic, was able to say, “The doctors aren’t the people I’m mad at. I can identify the feeling now and separate it out.” Alan came to see he was depressed because he was turning his anger at the disease on himself and punishing himself with hopelessness and feelings of isolation. Second, find mechanisms that discharge anger. These will be different for different people. Helen screams, hits the bed until she is tired, and takes long walks through the fields around her small town. Steven jogs and works out in a gym. Dean tires too easily for regular physical exercise; instead, he yells, writes out his anger in a journal, and talks to his partner, parents, and relatives. Alan, though he remains somewhat depressed, finds he feels calm and relaxed after he meditates.
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HIV INFECTION AND ITS EFFECTS ON THE EMOTIONS: ANGER AND ENERGY-DEALING WITH ANGER
Posted: June 18th, 2011 under HIV.
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